It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
