..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
