The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
ttyl tear gas
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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