Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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