I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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