I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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