u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
