my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
