I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
