Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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