Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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