Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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