I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
