come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
