My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize