I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
