No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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