its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
