I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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