Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize