thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
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