You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
