So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I deserve this hangover.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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