A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
