sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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