Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
