why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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