her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
