Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
