So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
