she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
