Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
wanna go halves on a baby?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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