He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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