I don't think brook has ever known best
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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