And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
