I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
