OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
