Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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