I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
