There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
