no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
