Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
is that a dick in a sweater?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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