No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
