he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
