I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
