Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
