So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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