I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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