how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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