I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
