Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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