She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
