I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
