When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Randomize
